When will things switch back to normal?
by eleblack90
Summary: Trust me, Serena, it’d be enough for me to hide in a corner and watch your life passing through without even being part of it.


**title** When will things switch back to normal?  
**author** eleblack  
**beta-reader** mana1023  
**fandom** Gossip Girl  
**characters** Serena Van Der Woodsen, Nate Archibald, Blair Waldorf, Chuck Bass  
**pairing** Nate/Serena; a bit of Blair/Chuck; Nate/Blair and Dan/Serena underlying  
**timeline** season one – episode five approximately  
**rating** G  
**warnings** one shot  
**parole** 1246  
**disclaimer** Gossip Girl and all its characters belong to producer Josh Schwartz and creator Cecily von Ziegesar.  
**note** It took years for me to write this and even centuries to post it. But I finally made it :D My OTP is Dan/Serena, but I've always thought that Nate & Serena'd got potential :P Enjoy.

"Mom told me that the Stantons need a model for the opening night of their new fashion season," Blair said while laying down on the armchair and putting a cherry into her mouth.  
"The Stantons? You mean Oliver and Amanda Stanton, owners of-"  
"...of the biggest fashion room of the whole Upper East Side, S. We haven't heard of them for centuries. Everyone from NY and anywhere nearby will be there. That's my best chance to show people I can still be a model."  
Serena smiled, sitting on the right sofa.  
"Can't tell your debut was extraordinary, Miss Waldorf." Chuck murmured from his favourite white sofa, arms crossed over his white-and-green-striped waistcoat.  
Blair stretched out toward him with half a sharp smile.  
"Never remind a Waldorf of her own bad outcomes, Chuck."  
"And you may not do any better next time."  
"Bass, I'm warning you...".  
"Hi."  
"Oh hi, Nate!" Serena exclaimed. Nate walked through the living room to reach for Blair, who welcomed him with her sweet smile and a little kiss. Chuck stared at Serena with a curled-up corner of his lips, but her smile didn't disappear as the two of them looked at each other.  
Chuck kept doing this all the time. He didn't believe in 'changes'; as Serena hadn't found him different once back in NY after a year, so he didn't think that whatever was between Nate and her, it was over. Whatever wasn't even supposed to start.  
"I've got briosches." Nate said as a white package joined fruit and drinks on the table.  
"Oh thanks, honey," Blair murmured, but didn't gave a look at the package at all, staring otherwise at her boyfriend.  
A phone ringing broke up the enchanting and peaceful atmosphere and everyone looked at Serena, who was answering the call as if she had always expected it to come.  
"Hello," she said, smiling, while Blair's ecstatic look turned into a grimace. She'd have recognized in a million the face her friend made every time her boyfriend called her.  
"Of course I can. I'm at Blair's," Serena kept speaking, twisting a blond tuft to her fingers. "Ok!"  
Chuck smiled widely at Nate, this time showing satisfaction, while Nate looked back at him mild and insecure.  
The click of Serena's mobile phone closing brought back the attention on her – Blair had never actually stopped either staring at her or thinking through how much Dan Humphrey and his social-climber-sister were unpopular.  
"It was Dan."  
Some sort of snorted laugh coming from Mister Bass' corner seemed to say _nooo, really? No one would ever guess that_. The past good times when you could call their friendship an elite were gone.  
"He wants to meet me at the Palace in half an hour."  
"It looks like he's forcing it on you," Blair complained.  
"Blair..."  
"What happened to our breakfast all together?"  
"But we are having breakfast all together, B," Serena denied, suddenly threading a toast into her mouth, and making Nate smile instantly.  
"Since when does Humphrey-Dumpty come in first place and your old friends don't, S?" Chuck added, complaining like Blair.  
"Guys, please," a stalked Serena said , her mouth now empty "You know that I've always enjoyed your company! We will have many more chances to be together… "  
"Actually I am leaving too," Nate interrupted them "Don't be so harsh at her."  
"Where are you going?" Blair exclaimed, turning at him and looking like a queen whose crown has just been taken away from her head.  
"You know how much dad cares about our Saturday morning basketball matches," Nate explained, one of his hands stroking Blair's sad face. She didn't seem to understand his reasons though, and threw herself back on her seat, outraged.  
"C'mon, B," Serena said while picking up her purse and golden scarf "I'll call you this evening, I promise!"  
The blondie waited for an answer in front of the little table until her friend raised up her head and gave an obliging look at her.  
"I love you!" Serena exclaimed, smiling one of her best smiles and getting her way to the lift.  
"I'll go too." Nate added, kissed Blair's hair and greeted Chuck with a motion. Chuck motioned back and then lay down again his dark eyes on Miss Waldorf's pout.  
"Looks like it's always you and me in the end, B." he murmured, not resentful at all, stroking her leg. Blair crossed that leg under the other.

---

"Serena, wait."  
"Hey, Nate," Serena said, as she smiled a less large smile at him now that they were alone inside Blair's lift.  
He found the first floor button and smiled back at Serena, while the elevator's sliding doors were closing on their embarrassed faces. Nate put his hands in his pockets and Serena stared at the ceiling.  
"I..." they said at the same time. They looked at each other and laughed, one turning to watch the ceiling again and the other shaking his head.  
"I'm glad everything's ok between Dan and you." Nate said.  
"Thank you," Serena told him enthusiastically "And I'm so happy I'm back! Despite of what Blair believes, I think we all went back to our normal way of being."  
"You think," Nate said, thoughtful.  
"Yes, I do. Dan is great...My brother got out of the clinic and is now back to everyday life...Blair and I haven't been arguing for a while, and she definitely forgave us our 'mistake' at the Shepherds' wedding..." she explained, her voice lowering a bit as she pronounced the last words.  
"Serena."  
"Nate?"  
"What about us?"  
The sliding doors of the lift got open, a familiar ringing in the background.  
"Us?"  
"We've got a problem."  
Serena stopped and stared at him.  
"Excuse me?"  
"When will things really switch back to normal?"  
"They already have."  
"No they haven't. Or you wouldn't feel embarrassed just by talking to me. And we would have been out together sometime, maybe take an ice-cream."  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."  
"Only when things switch back to normal I will be able to skim over you, touch you, hug you, without feeling like total shit."  
Serena looked at him as if he had just sworn - but she couldn't tell she actually managed to.  
"Don't you want it, Serena?" Nate asked, eventually looking at her and seeing the present Serena, because what he kept seeing in his own head while talking were just pictures of the old one, pure fragile memories of something that's not coming back.  
She looked back at him, tight-lipped and being sad to death. "I know what I want, and it's a happy life. It's good moments with my friends, with Dan, and loving you was not exactly made for this."  
"Trust me, Serena, it'd be enough for me to hide in a corner and watch your life passing through without even being part of it. But still it would be much easier if you stopped running away from me. Stop it."  
"I'm not running away from you. But I'm getting late now."  
"Please! Blair's living through what we've done...you do too!" Nate begged her, and his hand reached for Serena's.  
"You still can't let go of what happened! Why are you so attached to the past, Nate?"  
Nate half smiled, and looked at the ground for a second.  
"When things go back to normal, I'll be able to love you while you're not looking."  
Serena released his hand.  
"We're done."  
Nate watched her as she disappeared behind the corner.


End file.
